So what IS life coaching?
Life coaching, also called Personal Coaching, is a little like sport coaching in that: it is a special kind of relationship between coach and client. There's really nothing like it anywhere. It's a little like having a personal navigator. You, the client, specify where you want to go in life. The coach tells you whether and when you need to change course to get there.
Your coach listens to you without judgment. Listens to the very best in you, even when you can't hear it yourself!
Your coach will hold you accountable to your goals, keeps you moving toward them! It's like, he holds the flag at the top of the hill, encourages you to press on, hands you the tools and holds the light, so you can see what's to be done and have both hands free to do it!
Your coach will celebrate your victories with you, and help you learn from your setbacks!
Your coach respects that you live a whole life.
But how does a coach actually work with a client?
In a coach-client session, which typically takes place weekly, the client may bring up concerns or issues. These would be dealt with by brainstorming or in other ways. In brainstorming, coach and client together think up possible options to deal with an issue, and these are then explored, one by one. It is a process of creative self-discovery.
Or, the coach may ask power questions that relate to the client's agenda, that lead the client deep into himself and there discover answers to his questions or ideas for new ways of doing things.
If you want to play the big game, there's some reason why you are not already playing it. It may be you are afraid to push yourself. You may be afraid of failure. Can you fail to reach a goal and still be okay with yourself? If not, what do you do? Do you 'beat yourself up'? After a few times of doing that you will be afraid to really try. De-energy work - a specialty of Transcendence - can help you overcome these fears. You may be afraid of your own inner critic. A powerful inner critic can be directed to tasks other than self-criticism. Shadow work and voice dialog - also specialties of Self-Integration - can lead to acceptance of all parts of yourself. The goal is uncondtional self-acceptance.
I know myself better than anyone. How could a coach that has just met me know me well enough to help?
Problem is, we are TOO close to ourselves. We can't see the forest for the trees. A mirror, something outside ourselves, allows us to see self that otherwise we can't see. In a coaching relationship the coach is like a mirror, but through him you can see much more than a mirror could ever show.
But wouldn't a friend that has known me for years be better for that than a coach that has just met me?
What empowers relationships is not time, but commitment. Knowing someone is all about commitment to a relationship. The coach-client relationship is all about commitment: the coach's commitments, and the client's commitment to his stated agenda. Also, coaches are trained to listen in a way that is oriented to the client's agenda, not his own. Without that training, even years of relationship will help very little.
I am already pushing myself - and I am stressed out. All sorts of symptoms. How could coaching help solve the problem of all the stress I am experiencing? Would it not make it worse?
We experience stress because parts of ourselves are in conflict with one another. We are not honoring all the parts of ourselves: such as the part that wants to daydream, which could serve us as our inspirer, our discoverer. Or our inner critic, which need not be a self-critic all the time but could also be used for anything from a critic of rental contracts to an analyzer of baseball statistics to a political activist. Coaching is about learning about these parts of ourselves, and becoming okay with all of them and finding ways to honor and use each of them effectively.
I am going through all kinds of changes. I don't really know what my goals are. So what could a coach do for me now?
Life itself is a process - of continual change. Sometimes the changes can be overwhelming. There is a whole kind of coaching called process coaching , where the coach just basically sits with a client going through the changes. It's the best way for the client to learn essential things about himself, and discover reasons for all the changes.
There is an initial discovery session of 1 to 2 hours. Then typically coaching calls happen weekly, 1/2 hour each time; it could be longer if the client needs and wants it so. Coaching goes on for at least a few months.
Sessions are commonly held over the phone, especially if coach and client live considerably far from one another. I have even done sessions by instant messenger!
At each session the client is left with inquiries. These relate to his stated agenda. Sometimes these relate to his work toward his goals, achieving interim goals. Sometimes they relate to determining what his agenda really is. They are not homework as such.
What does it cost? I cannot afford much.
The going rate is $200 per month, sometimes extra for the initial discovery session, and sometimes extra for extra sessions or extra length sessions. I am always willing to come to agreement with clients on what they can afford.
So - interested? How do I get into coaching? Where do I learn more?
You might want to come to one of our workshops.
Or you might want to join one of our teleclasses.
©2010 Self-Integration Coaching and Mentoring