Self-Integration Life Coaching and Mentoring










Why would someone want to go into coaching?

He wants to play the big game of life, not the small game.   He wants to live up to his full potential.  He wants to push himself.  He wants to be all that he can be.

Why would I need a coach? I can take care of myself.

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I know myself better than anyone. How could a coach that has just met me know me well enough to help? And be worth his fees?

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But wouldn't a friend who has known me for years be better (as a mirror) than a coach that has just met me?

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Where does temple (mystery school) work fit in? How is it relevant?

Temple work is about dealing with parts of ourselves that already know what we are trying to find out, trying to learn, and can already do what we want to achieve.   The particulars of Temple work: meditation, divination, rituals etc., are like pathways, processes to those parts of ourselves.

What is a 'mystery school'? Why is it called that? What's the mystery?

It's called mystery to place it in the tradition of mystery schools that go back through the ages, to the dawn of recorded history (and probably before).   But also, to make a statement about consciousness and energetics as a science.  It demands more than dispassionate observation; it demands involvement and commitment.  A mystery is something you know in your heart, but not necessarily in your head.

I have problems. Maybe I need a therapist. Why should I consider a coach?

A therapist will consider you 'broken', and his job is to 'fix' you.  But when you get right down to it, he will use the 'good' or unbroken parts of you to work on the rest.   A coach will call upon those parts of you as well.  So when it gets right down to it, coach and therapist are doing essentially the same thing.

The difference however is in the perspective, and thence the attitude.   The therapist will consider that you are the victim of whatever 'broke' you.   The coach calls upon you to accept that everything that happens, that happens to you, happens for a reason.   There are not really any victims, only those who play victim roles.   The situation that 'broke' you is something you cope with.   In so coping, you develop 'voices', to cope effectively.   There will be 'opposite' voices that will arise in you in this process.  Coaching is about reconciling these opposite voices.

At the end of the day the client must decide whether he is really broken, or is he whole.   If he is broken, he needs a therapist.   If he is whole, he needs a coach.

I don't have any problems any more. I don't need a coach.

Are you being all that you can be?   How do you know that?   What are you desiring in your life, and what is your vision of the future?  What would you want to be able to say about yourself ten years from now?  And given these goals, what are you doing now to achieve them?  What could you realistically do, that you are not doing now?  A coach could help with any of these issues.

As a Christian I believe that by ourselves we are nothing. Who are we to "be all that we can be"?

As a fellow Christian I agree that without God we are nothing.  But, with God we are everything.

God loves us enough to give us our free will.  He didn't have to do that.  He took a chance on us giving us that, the chance that we would just go our own way, which of course we have all done and that is what sin is all about.  Only a loving God would have taken that chance; only a loving God could have.

Our free will is implemented in our ablilities, our talents, our potential.   In developing these, we experience just how much God loves us in giving us all of these.   In developing them to the fullest, we maximize our capability to love Him back.

I am busy and do not have much time. How much time does this coaching take?

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What does it cost? I cannot afford much.

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All I can afford is pro bono. Do you do pro bono coaching?

Pro bono does not work well in coaching.  What the client pays, however much or little in dollars, is tied to his commitment to the coaching relationship, and to his life.

I am already pushing myself - and I am stressed out. All sorts of symptoms. How could coaching help solve the problem of all the stress I am experiencing? Would it not make it worse?

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I am going through all kinds of changes. I don't really know what my goals are. So what could a coach do for me now?

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What is mentoring? How is it different from coaching?

Ordinarily coaches do not teach, counsel, advise or consult.   Mentors are coaches that do these things in a limited degree as agreed upon with the client.   As a coach I may suggest exercises whose purpose is client's creative self-discovery.  Strictly speaking this is mentoring.

What is co-active coaching?

In Co-active coaching the coach approaches the client with no pre-conceived notions of what to coach him on.  The client is a whole person, not needing to be 'fixed', and considered creative and resourceful.  The client's agenda is what drives the coaching.  The entire coach-client relationship is designed from the ground up at the initial discovery session, which can take about two hours.   At The Coaches Training Institute co-active coaching is taught.

What is fulfillment coaching?

What will it take for you to be fulfilled?   To be the full expression of who you are?   Fulfillment coaching deals with these questions, which go beyond what you want and what your present goals are.  But those are important too.   And yet, you can have a fulfilling life today.   We can show you how.

What is balance coaching?

What are your options?  In balance coaching are many techniques for looking at things in new, different perspectives.   More options mean more choices.  You commit to action in balance coaching, but more energetically because you know that you have truly chose it over alternatives.

What is process coaching?

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What is initiatory mentoring?

This is connected with mystery school work.  Like coaching, mentoring is conducted one on one.  It is teaching wherein most of what the client learns is found within himself.

What is the discovery session?

When a coaching relationship is started, there is a special initial discovery session where coach and client get to know each other.  Not only are contractual and monetary details worked out, but areas of main focus for coaching are identified and agreed upon.  The entire coach-client relationship is designed from the ground up.   It can take up to two hours.

What are power questions?

Power questions ask what, how, where, sometimes when, generally avoid why.  Unlike so many questions asked in society, power questions have no 'right' answer.   They are the opposite of 'leading' questions, and while the latter narrows the possibilities, power questions broaden the possibilites.   Power questions are invitations to look deep within yourself, possibly to places you have not looked at for a long time.

What is a sample coaching session?

Normally coaching begins with a discovery session. There then follows the (normally) weekly coaching sessions.  A sample session is like a weekly session in form.  A prospective client can get something of the worth and energy of coaching in a sample session, but with the understanding that without the foundation of a discovery session and the commitment of a long-term contract, the sample session can be only that: a sample.

How long is a long-term contract?

Typically three months.  The major reason for this is that clients must commonly work through a 'slump' in their commitment in coaching, which typically takes place between the second and eighth week.


©2010 Self-Integration Coaching and Mentoring